Dave and I were talking yesterday about how ironic McKenna's diagnosis is. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a talker . . . a big talker . . . I can talk and talk and talk. I love to communicate, it's one of my strengths, it's a huge security for me. I also love to listen to other people talk. I love people and I love connecting. To communicate and listen well brings you success in life.
For a brief second here and there I can appreciate the irony and have a little humor about the fact that I could have a daughter who can't talk! What??
So in the middle of our conversation Dave knocked me in the arm and said, "yeah- sometimes I wish YOU had verbal dyspraxia!" I hit him and laughed.
My laugh, however is only skin deep. The corners of my mouth turn up, sound comes out, but my eyes are not laughing. My heart is not laughing.
I cannot imagine a world where simply speaking is difficult. I guess I put a lot of my security in that power. I sense that a whole new world is about to open up for me. A world in which McKenna is supposed to be the recipient of growth, but hopefully I will be a better person for this. I know in my head that there is so much more to communication then words, but my heart has not learned this lesson yet.
I am looking forward to this journey . . . I am.
Love,
Amber
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You are one of the most amazing, courageous,strong, beautiful people I know! God has blessed you abundantly and I have no doubt that he will carry and guide you through this as he continues to shower you with more blessings on the road! I love you oodles and can't wait to see you! A
ReplyDeleteAwwww shucks A- you made me tear up with that little note. I love you too! Counting the days...
ReplyDeleteSorry, I'm behind on reading again! We're continuing to pray for you--for all of you! God is able to heal her or to use this for His glory. We'll keep you in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janelle
Amber
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about McKenna's difficulties. You are incredibly courageous and strong! I think it's a wonderful idea to get out your fears on your blog and I'll pray for your strength to continue this journey ahead. Keep the light in your heart and continue doing all that you do for everyone so well!
Sheila and Lily Salmond (ballet 1: 08-fall 09)- PS Lily loved your class although we had to find another evening class since she's in school now. I miss your patient, fun and skillful teaching!